Dream

I will exchange my soul for a moment like this.

The Phoenix City, Phoenix Person

Come Monday and everything would be normal in Mumbai. The city would be same again. There would be again faceless persons boarding and unboarding local trains and BEST buses, without any expression. They would not remember the trauma, the city went through. The repair and renovation of The Taj and other buildings will start. The families who lost their members will some take some time to become normal, but after few days, months or year they will forget the ones they lost. Life always moves on. Just like a speeding truck on a highway, It does not stop for any toad or even a dog, crush them and moves on. The city burns and then resurrects itself from its own ashes.

Things are not going for me either. Whichever issue or research I am working is getting incorrect. Despite of being extra cautious. I am loving it. I do not have any other option. I have to like whatever I am getting on my platter. The only thing keeps me alive, while events are not turning my way, is the thought that it would not get worse than this. On a suggestion from one of my good acquaintance, I confessed to one of my schoolmates that I had crush on her. I felt funny and stupid while writing this on gtalk but thank god that she did not feel offended. I had a haircut today, removed my goatee and got my hair colored. I was thinking to get them colored from couple of months but since i did not have a haircut, I could not have them colored. I hope the short hair will help me sailing the tough week that is coming ahead and will help maintain my cool.

Straight from Heart

Another guest post. Authored by Shiv Shankar Singh Yadav. This is for those who crib about everything they have. I have enough songs queued up and will mail all of them by next Monday. Apologies for late turnaround.

Disclaimer:- I think I share the same view.

This came to my mind after a long time. I am working in BPO for the last four years and I see lot of wrong things and I was not able to stop myself writing this. I belong to Najafgarh. It’s a suburban town on the outskirts of Delhi, famous for Sehwag.

When I was in school, I used to go to school in jam-packed DTC(Delhi Transport Corporation) by standing for almost two hours. So when I joined BPO for the first time Cab( Company provided transport) was a luxury for me, then I met people with different types of backgrounds, but they all were not rich enough, so that’s why they were in BPO. But they always pretend that they are richest person on earth.

I will not name any but there are lot of persons that use company cab like that it is the property of their father. Meet few examples below

• Mr A belongs to Lucknow lives in a rented PG that might have shared toilets and bathrooms but the first thing he want when he enters in the cab is to close all the windows and have the AC on full high.
• Mr B lives in a PG hostel where the nearest bus stop or rickshaw stand is almost three kms from his hostel, but when it comes to cab he wants the cab exactly at his door not 100 meters ahead or behind. Also he is scared of street dogs in the night; I believe he has no right to call him a man.
• Where do you get Salads, pickle, three types of dals and vegetables and not to forget sweet dish after these, still people don’t like the cafeteria food free of cost.

Only thing I can say that before over utilizing or complaining against things please work in a Indian company whose only success mantra is to suck blood of employees, there you will find AC in Company head room and third class coolers for employees and you can’t be late even if you are traveling miles from your home in a public transport and from meal point of view you will get tea even if MALLICK is generous enough.

The Door

Life always does not turn out the way you wanted to be. Sometimes its due to external condition and sometimes you are the catalyst. For me, Its both. External conditions triggers me to react and I end up making decisions that  I rather should have not. Couple of days back I deactivated my phone because the service provider changed my caller tune without any request from me and they insisted that it is me who changed it. All I said was to them that I am not a born moron and I want the connection to be deactivated right now. Some more  stupid things are happening at workplace.

I should stop cribbing and start with what I intend to write.

There are various kinds of doors. We would not talk about the physical attributes of doors but would talk about the basic nature. Some doors slide, some swivel but most of the doors swings. We will talk about the doors which swing.

Doors which swing one way generally does not make any news unless someone make them swing the opposite side they are designed to swing. Some society permits it and some dont. Though it is the personal selection of the door which way it wants to swing. The carpenter always design the door to swing one side. However some doors develop their own mind and swings to the other side. It could be painful for the door if the hinges are not lubricated. Lubrication helps and some people calls it liquid engineering.

There could be various reasons for a door to swing the opposite way its designed too. For most of the doors it could the personal selection. Few doors swing the other way because they get bored by just swinging one side. Though most of the laws prohibits the opposite swinging of the door against the law and nature but their are some rebel doors who are fighting for their rights to swing the opposite way.

Few doors swing both sides and they do it effortlessly. Their all the hinges remain in a good condition and they could be used from either side. These doors want to swing the opposite side but they sometime succumbs to the pressure of society and swings to the right side. They are the opposite swinging doors made to swing in the right direction by force.

Some doors take time to swing. And other doors laugh at them and make mockery of them by saying that the door is swinging the opposite way. The mocking doors think that if the door will not swing its hinge will jam and stop working. The door prevents it hinges from non functioning by making it swing a little all by itself. It doesnt always open for anybody.

This door is waiting for someone whose one touch will make this door swing wide open. Till then it would  refuse to swing by any other.

Lindt, KFC and a Belt

Its hard to wake up when you have slept for just three and half hours. So after sleeping at 5:30 I somehow managed to wake up at 10 am. I promised Amrit that I would be at the International airport to receive him. And the last thing I wanted is to be called ‘Dhokhebaaj Tiwari’ as Ritesh Bhaiya and Manu Chacha named me for not showing up after making promises. I keep my promises sometimes. Sometime. Anjani promised me to drop at the airport but after sometimes we realised that we have just one helmet. So he dropped me at the dwarka flyover and i was to get a auto from there. Goodish plan. Sounded like one.

The Autowallahs of delhi is one bastard breed that will rather enjoy bidi with a newspaper than to earn. It took me 30 minutes to get an auto who agreed to drop me at airport just for 100 bucks!!! I reached in time. I picked him up, hired a prepaid taxi and got back to my home. This was the lowest waiting period for me at the international airport. I waited not more than 10 minutes.

We came back to home, I had one drink of Absolut Mango, he had three or was it four? He had another flight for Bhubaneswar at 6. Me and Ranjay went to drop him. Ranjay had some work in CP(collect some money from his tution teacher). We paid 150 bucks to this autowallah. The teacher asked him to come on wednesday as he was not carrying the big amount of rs 2000 with him.

While roaming in CP I bought a belt for me and we had some burgers as Gopi too joined in.

The search for an auto to drop us home was larger than what Ram had for Sita. We again paid 150 bucks to get back home.

Now, I have this. Thanks buddy!!!

www.neelabh.com had a facelift

I gifted a new theme and a header to my blog on its anniversary. The blog itself is old, but www.neelabh.com completed one year on 15th November 2008. Ranjay(my flatmate) helped me in creating the clumsy header.

As Darwin has said that nature opposes changes and I consider myself to be a part of nature and thus I myself is not liking the look. The previous one was more neater. But changes are good and a crucial part of evolution.

www.neelabh.com is evolving.

Losing Weight

Work, could be killing sometimes. More lethal than any chemical poison. I realized this last to last week and could have paid a heavy price for it. All I wanted to feed my ego a bit and get some kick. Well, this kick could have been on my arse too. But missed it by a black cat’s whisker.

There is a process in which we increase salary of employee’s of a particular unit. As a standard procdeure, the defined timeline is of two weeks. But due to some issues between the employees and the company, we were asked to finish it between 5 days with 100 or more percent of accuracy. The best part of this increase was that it was retro increase. And entering those details in PeopleSoft is a real tough job. If any of you have ever worked on PeopleSoft, you know the pain. And yes, I need to test the whole procedure in a test environment and validate to the client that we could do it in production and all in 5 days. Being a smartass I took this as a challenge and promised my self that I would complete it in time and will not do extended shift atleast for 5 days. Thus giving myself just 40 hours for all the activities. It was a calculated risk, but a risk is a risk. I managed to finish it off within the given timeline.

While I was processing this increase, I received a research request from the client and in order to do it quickly, have screwed it in and out, thoroughly. I realised this when they reverted to double check what i have provided them. F**k, I sent them result of a wrong SQL query. But one colleague helped a lot in this and later on we identified that it was a system defect. I felt like i have just survived a near death experience.

In the meanwhile I was reading this book called “Weight Loss” by Upamanyu Chatterji. This guy is famous for his book The English August. I will not do a review kind of this book but would definitely like to give a brief intro of the main characters of the novel. This book is all about bisexual escapades of a person.

Bhola – The protagonist of the novel. The story starts when this guy was of 11 years and gets fascinated by his Physical Education teacher, his servant and the ring in his phallus, the sabziwali and her husband and many other people who stands on the lower order of society. His imagination is awesome and could put even an excellent porn writer to shame. In 19 years, from 18 to 37 he had sex with 8 people. 4 female and 4 male.

Dosto – Bhola’s only friend. He is witty and marries Bhola’s first crush. He was named after a famous Russian writer. Dosto use to give oral stimulation to his driver back home from school and has even tried to run away with him.

Titli – The sabzi wali, whose physical structure changed many times as the story progressed but the only thing that remained same was the effect that she had on Bhola. After Bhola turned 18, they had sex almost whenever they meet. Trivia – She used suck blood of Bhola’s newborn daughter through a syringe. He was unaware until he found the syringe and the blood spilled on her bosom.

Moti – Titli’s husband. Moti suffered from severe erectile dysfunction and use to share same space in Bhola’s mind what he had for Titli. Bhola even had some sessions with Moti. Trivia – Moti’s first experience was with a cattle.

Dr Borkar – Dosto calls him Dr Whorekar. He is not a qualified doctor and doesnot count himself in quacks. Titli worked for him as a nurse and he used to reach orgasm just by sniffing Titli’s various orifices. Borkar uses condoms as chewing gums.

For the rest of the story (if you are interested by now) buy a genuine copy of Weight Loss and read it any of the weekend. The novel is more psychedelic than semi porn. I will not call it erotic.

PS:- I have added a ‘Request a Song’ page, where you could request for a hindi song and i will try to mail it to you.

PPS:- www.neelabh.com completed one year.

To Eat or to Read?

Laziness has conquered me. And much more its the work that has occupied my mind. I will write something this weekend. Till then here is another guest post by one of my colleauge. Chinmayanand Mallik.

Disclaimer – I may or may not share the same view.

In India a huge population is illiterate and under poverty line. Here more than 50% population is illiterate and 80% national capital belongs to 20% people and vice versa. I am not a communist that I will advocate for equal distribution of national capital but being citizen of a socialist country, I don’t feel this is justified.

 

The weapons that our leaders use to show they are doing something about weaker section are reservation, cast, religion and region politics so that no one will question them that why they could not control illiteracy, poverty and starvation death even after 60 years of independence.

 

But some times I feel illiteracy and poverty is a need of Indian Democracy. Below are some points to support my statement.

 

If illiterate or poor public will not be there then who will listen the roti, kapda and makan speech of our great leaders which they never full fill because they know that these people must remain illiterate and poor so that they will not have to write a new speech on the next election.

 

If people will not be illiterate then, they will ask for road, water, electricity and other infrastructure developments rather than voting on ridiculous facts like cast, religion and language. If politicians will have to spend money on developments then we will have a shortage of money on Mayawati’s birthday party and Lalu’s daughter’s marriage etc which I don’t feel is fare. 

 

Politicians can easily get vote of a poor man by paying him some money at the time of election i.e. once in 5 years. Politicians have no need to spend money on their development rather they can utilize that money for their own welfare.

 

Our leader can gather people in their rallies by paying some money to these poor men and later claim that they have a heavy public support in this area. If poverty will not be there then who will go to listen our great leaders.

 

So poverty and illiteracy is a basic need of current Indian democracy.

To Believe or Not to Believe

This is the first guest post on my post. Its written by one of my very close relatives. Gaurav Chacha.

And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.– Shakespeare in Hamlet

Here goes the post- I may or may not share the same views.

How many of you believe in Ghosts,spirits,satan or paranormal? And How many of you do not believe in Paranormal? I am sure that different minds have different answers!

Paranormal activity and ghosts have been every one’s fav. Topic to discuss everytime despite of one’s belief or disbelief!

But here,I present you a real thing to read and discuss being a Certified Paranormal Investigator myself.

First of all I would like to tell you what does it mean by Paranormal?

“Paranormal” by definition basically means something that is beyond the range of normal experience or scientist explanation! As a result,these events are usually not reproducible in a Lab.

When considering the paranormal field,one fact comes clearly into focus; many people, including “authorities” such as Paranormal investigators,Scientists and religionists,have many differing and conflicting theories about what is actually happening.

Some believe in demonic possession from Malevolent Inhuman Spirits (pret,pishach,djinns,demons) and some do not!

Some believe that demons are fallen angels,some dont! Some believe that a clergy can exorcise spirits,some dont.Some believe that simply calling God’s name or chanting hanuman chalisa can immediately stop demonic activity ,some dont!

The ironic fact of the matter is that they all are correct.How can this be????

BELIEF!!!!

I have come to believe from my research and investigation that it all boils down to one irrefutable fact that NOBODY-AND I MEAN NOBODY TRUELY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

While there is no question that something is going on in the world of haunting,most paranormal events can be explained by natural occurances. And in most cases, I believe it comes down to a person’s beliefs and belief systems. There is nothing more powerful in this universe than a person’s individual beliefs, and here in lies a key to better understand spirits and ghosts whether they can bother you or harm you or not! Your belief and disbelief makes it so!

But what about people who dont believe in ghosts who have seen some kind of manifestation?

Again, it comes down to the person’s own belief system. Seeing a ghost one time and being bothered by a ghost are two different things. The disbeliever may see a manifestation of “what is,” whiich only argues for one of two things: either ghosts exist, or the person was unconsciously influenced by local ghost stories (which in turn,produced the apparition in his or her own imagination).

We, as Paranormal Investigators, have different beliefs. And we do believe in the existance of paranormal and different kind of spirits. We have found, researched, studied,investigated different scenarios about ghosts and their natures and we do look forward to know more and more about them. We also debunk a scenario as a true skeptics if the haunting is a result of a natural occurance or any scientific reason.

Now the question is DO GHOSTS AND SPIRITS EXIST???

The answer depends on who you ask.!

“The survival Hypothesis” is a theory that state’s a persons personality and consciousness survive the physical death of the body.Accordingly, humans have a dual nature : a physical body and an ethereal aspects that contains the personality and consciousness. This ethereal aspect has been called the soul,spirit, and Higher self among others!

Many theories exist to support the SURVIVAL HYPOTHESIS including the FIRST LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS, also known as LAW OF CONVERSATION OF ENERGY,which states, “Energy can be changed from one form to another but it cant be created or destroyed. Thus, the total amount of energy available in universe is constant.

This law is supported by Albert’s Einstein’s famous equation E=mc² . which describes the relationship between energy and matter.In this equation known as theory of relativity, energy equals to mass times the square of a constant. Thus Einstein suggested that energy and matter are interchangeable.His equation also suggest that the quantity of energy and matter in the Universe is fixed!

What does this mean to us as human beings trying desperately to understand what happens to us after death?

If true,it means that we dont die,but are simply converted from one form of energy into another- the same as electricity is converted into a number of energies such as heat!

So even though the circumstantial evidence is strong, the absolute proof still eludes us currently,however empirical evidences that suggest that there is indeed some truth to the existance of outside intelligent forces that people commonly refer to as GHOST! Perhaps, you have had experieces that prove in your own mind the existence of spirits!

GHOSTS vs SPIRITS

In a strict sense, the word GHOST usually refers to the ethereal body of a deceased human,as opposed to an inhuman entity (an entity whoe never lived as a human).

In contrast, the English word SPIRIT comes from the latin ‘spiritus’ meaning ‘breath’! It can also mean SOUL,COURAGE,VIGOR,VITALITY OR ATTITUDE. For example, a person can be present in spirit though absent in body!

Some researcher drwa a further distinction between the words “ghost” to describe Residual Hauntings and SPIRITS to describe Intelligent hauntings.other believes that ghosts are earthbound but SPIRITS have already passed over and can freely travel between both realms.

HAUNTING

The word haunt basically means “to visit a location frequently”. It carries the root meaning of ‘bringing home’ and ‘familiarity’.Therefore we use the word “haunted” to describe a palce which is frequented by a spirit!

Interestingly, haunting activity often erupts or intensifies during the renovation or remodeling of an existing house or building. It is thought that the construction upsets the spirit’s familier environment.Many people dislike and resist changes, and it would seem that spirits feel the same way. This could be the reason why some spirits are seen walking through the walls.In some instances a doorway existed prior to reconstruction,and the ghost apparently choses to keep the doorway there!

RESIDUAL HAUNTING/PLACE HAUNTING/IMPRINTS

These types of ghosts are simly a reflections of the past. There is no intelligence behind these types of haunts. It is thought that residuals or place hauntings result from deep human emotions being imprinted on a perticular location,in essence ,imprinted upon fabric of time and space.It is almost like a battery that is charged with intense emotion and then the charge is released at various time under various and unknown conditions. Over time,the battery gradually loses its charge and the haunt ceases!

HUMAN SPIRITS/INTELLIGENT HAUNTINGS

INTELLIGENT HAUNTING involve spirits that interact with those alive in flesh. They can communicate in a number of ways, such as audibly, through audio recordings or other instruments. They can also react to what you say or do.

Intelligent hauntings can refer to either human spirits or in-human spirits.human spirits that existed as human beings. Inhuman entities never walked the earth as humans.

INHUMAN SPIRITS (MIS)

SO called demons or malevolent Inhuman spirits or evil spirits. They have been around since the dawn of civilizations.they come in all shapes and sizes.they are malicious Non-corporeal entities and some form of elementals such as djinn,incubus or succubus etc. It appears that they want to feed off of the negative energy and fear that plagues humanity.and especially that of the people they haunt.They are more poweful than human spirits and can move big objects such as sofas and refrigerators and can sometimes change matters like water to blood, raindrops to pebbles!

POLTERGEISTS/RSPK

Poltergeists are noisy ghosts because hauntings of this type involve physical objects moving of their own violation. The partial technical term for this kinf of activity is also called Psychokenisis or Telekenisis. Which means the psychic ability to move or affect an object without physical touch! This kind of activity is also shown by a living human sometimes.

Usually this kind of haunting is recognized by sudden smell of perfume or tobbacco or cigars to table tipping to physical touching and everything in between.

We as paranormal investigators use diferent kind of tools to know whether a place is haunted..like

1)EMF meter which reads the electromagentic field at an area. Ghostly activity is recognized by a sudden very high increase in EMF reading.

2)EVP recorders- EVP stands for Electronic Voice Phenomena. It is normally recorded on a digital voice recorders. Usually a spirit speaks in a whispering mode. We do get some times a direct answer to our question when no one else is present there.

3) no contact thermo-meters – There is a sudden change of temperature when a spirit is present.either it gets very cold at the specific area or sometimes it get too hot.

4) thermal cameras – this kind of cameras are used to detect the infrared images of an energy source. Spirit Entities are often caught as an image of a humonoid shape.as they too emit energy.

5)Motion detectors/gauss meteres/infrared cameras/digital cameras etc.

A Real apparition

ORBS

Orbs are usually refered to as energy balls or as a Spirits energy source. But there are many other things which defines the occurance of orbs in photographs.Such as a dust particle,moisture present in atmosphere or any other light source.So Orbs usually are paranormally insignificant.But sometimes real Orbs have been reported with an intelligent flight path.

Orbs in a garden (due to dust particles and moisture in atmosphere)

So, let me know what do think about Paranormals now??

_

Gaurav Tiwari, CPI (certified Lead Paranormal Investigator) Paranexus Groups and SPIRITEAM www.paranexus.org

Four Frustrated Minds

First- I am a girl and I am still single. I shouldnt have run away from the truth that day. but kya karti main, main kitni immature thi. Abhi inhe kaise bataun ki wo flame abhi bhi kahin jal rahi hai? Koi time machine hota to abhi main sabkuch badal deti. Kaisi baatein sochti hoon main, I am still not mature. And why the hell I am talking on such topics with these two idiots. I shouldnt have played that silly game about negative feedback with that girl. It must have ruined her weekend. Kitni jolly thi bechari, aaj usne mere Hi ka sahi se jawab nahin diya. She must be pissed off. Uff! I talk too much.

Second- I am a girl and I am still single. Is this the fault of college I went to? I should have been studied in a co-ed college. Itne saare crush hote hain mere but koi fruitful nahi hota hai. I was already feeling low today without any reason and these fools are making me more depressed. Kya koi raat ko anjaane logon se relationship status ke baare mein baat karta hai. Sometimes I think they are encroaching my personal space. LS people. I should try to confine within myself.

Third- I am a man and I am still single. There is a fear. It might be a fear of rejection. But on a closer retrospect I found that it is the fear of getting into a relationship. I know I am cynical and stubborn. This self realization is the primary cause of all these fears. And why the hell do I get attracted to every second girl I see, I am still to learn. Akele rahte rahte khud ki itni aadat ho gayee hai ki ab mera personal space bahut bada ho gaya hai. Dar lagta hai ki relationship ke baad khud ko kisi ke saath share karna padega. Agle 4 saal baad main arranged marriage kar lunga. Will I ever say what is in mind to that girl for whom I wrote an apology post in April but did not post it.

Fourth- WTF!